Somewhere deep inside !

         I find it very hard to express myself. Not because I am short of word, but because of two reasons.
For one, I, like many of you don’t believe that my listener will understand. They have not walked in my shoes, they know nothing of my sleepless nights or the reasons behind my crazy smiling. My reasons might seem stupid to them. Or even fairly small for such strong reactions. But that’s how it is. Not everyone understands.
              And those who do understand me, and they care enough to ask. In those very scarce cases, I happen to be in chaos of mind. I barely understand what is happening else where. The random thoughts and no apparent reasons of stress drove me to write. A very refined and organized way of expression. And not only writing, i call this writing for myself.
               Despite a very large social circle and numerous ways of expressing ,we often find refuge in pages. Our notebooks, the best listner in the world who listen untill we retire from speaking, never fail to reflect back our thoughts. Showing exactly where we  were pondering more. Helping us to think and streamline our train of thoughts.
                 The best expression, our pen, speaks our language, copy our emotions and never ceases to  do so until and unless we want it to.
              Freedom of expression might be the motto of many and yet we are afraid to speak. We are afraid of not being understood. But my dear fellows, nobody understood Newton.
Express what you think. Write it down. A secret biting your insides?  Here is what to do, scribble it down. Cork it in a bottle, carry it to sea (that will be last of its burden), fling it over and share it with the sea. Speak with your pen. Talk freely with whom you want to. Be free to feel.
Carry your own listener and spokesman with you.

P.s
To motivate, here i have a writing of mine.
In my most jumbled up moments, this poem got out. One line different from another. But thats how mind works. Wonder of nature.
Now that, i read it after a year, l understand they were memories. Some lessons learned,  some losses and gains. As i understand it now!

Thrashing wild waves,
                    Captured in a jar.
Swift wind whirling,
                    Singing very far.
Silent words whispered,
                    Hanging in the air.
Hopeless strings of love,
                    Retreating in the lair.
Starring at his face,
                    Wondering what it is.
Emotions in his eyes,
                    In a moment’s bliss!
Soft touch of breeze,
                    Kissing her hair.
Drying tears that dropped,
                    Beckoning her to dare!
All those happy seconds,
                    All that didn’t last,
Is worth all i have,
                    A ship of broken mast!!
       
       (Written on  2 april,2014)

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